New comments on 'How to help a friend'

New comment from chelsharmony

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 13:47:38 -0600

yup, cant stand when people tell me to relax and it will happen - i really want to punch them at that point. I hate getting advise from people who have absolutely NO idea what i go thru each month. I would just like someone to ask what they could do to help, sometimes just going out for a drink or a lunch would help to keep my mind off of it. We dont care to talk about it all the time either, its nice to have a friend to vent to but also good to have someone to act like we have a normal life around too. just be supportive when she needs you and please, please, please dont say "oh, i know how you feel" unless you really do and have goen thru all she has. You can say "i cant imagine how hard this may be on you, can i do anything to help". You sound like a great friend, she is very lucky to have you looking out for her!

Take care!!

chelsharmony

New comment from mea_dilport

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 05:42:41 -0600

very good advice nena and kayla. i second that.

mea_dilport

New comment from Kayla

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 15:50:45 -0500

I know what your friend is going through. My husband and I have been trying for 18mths. Both of my closest friends have children...one of them tried for both (first one on first try...second 4mths later) my other friend didnt even want kids. The one that didnt want kids is the hardest to take when she tells me to relax because i always want to say you didnt want one and got one, i want one SOOOOOO bad and cant get one.

My advice is dont take anything too personal and just be there for her... DONT TELL HER TO RELAX AND IT WILL HAPPEN!!!! Also, from my point i always hated to hear it will happen when God wants it to. those two things are the worst.

Just be there and ask what you can do rather than give advice, because thats the last thing "we" want to hear when trying so long and our friends already have it!

Hope i helped! I wish her luck

Kayla

New comment from waiting4baby

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 20:51:00 -0500

it's something that we have tried to do in the past....but has not been as successful because of logistics....but now i think we will start to try to do that more often...go visit sometimes without the children....thank you :-)

waiting4baby

New comment from waiting4baby

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 20:50:00 -0500

thank you, that's really good advice....it's definitely a very emotional experience....and i think my friend needs to get strength anywhere she can....

waiting4baby

New comment from Nena

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 20:50:00 -0500

Try not to take it personal. It's a natural feeling I feel the same way when my sister brings over her kids. I mean don't get me wrong I love them but it hurts. Is is possible to go visit her occasionally without your children?

Nena

New comment from hope23

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 20:49:00 -0500

All my close friends have babies/young kids and it gets very difficult especially this time of year because of all the birthday parties we are invited to. It's a sad reminder that I do not have any little ones to celebrate.

I think the best thing to do is just be there for her, ask how treatments are going and if she needs anything. Even offering to accompany her to doctor visits is very supportive. Last year, I had so many appts and my husband could not attend all of them, it would have been nice to have a friend with me (but I was too wrapped up to ask)

I do not tell a lot of people that we are experiencing infertility because frankly, I do not want to hear advice from someone who has not experienced it. I know it's not intentional, but advice on how to get pregnant can be hurtful. Believe me, we have tried everything (just short of IVF.) I've heard to just relax, to try it upside down and to pray to God. It's hard when it doesn't come easy.

Just being there for your friend and her knowing it makes a world of difference in an extremely emotional time.

hope23

How to help a friend

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 16:32:00 -0500

What is the best way to help a friend going through infertility, when i visit and bring my kids sometimes she gets too sad....

waiting4baby