Hi Lady, Thanx for the compliment...Wishing you luck with your ttc journey and praying it ends with a 'mummy, daddy and baby lived happily ever after'. Your story inspires me to never lose hope....
flutterbyejewels
Woodbine (Sydney) NSW Australia
Member for 11 months
Flutters rollercoster ttc journey
June 28, 2008
I have been ill with af since the very first one I got when I was just 11yrs old. They had always been so very painful and heavy for me but ppl would just say I was going thru puberty and it would all settel down in a yr or so. Well a yr or so pased and it didnt settle but actually got worse. Then doctors decided I was just 'putting it on' so I wouldnt have to go to school.
My pain would be so bad that I would be in bed with a hot water bottle and unable to move for like 3 wks out of 4. I missed all of my teenage yrs because of this. When all my friends where out at parties I was sick at home.
At times I ended up in hospital the pain was so bad but a very most I would only be told it was pms and to 'get over it'
Then when I was about 17 I decided enough was enough and went to a different gp who actually believed me. Guess it helped I was actually doubled over in pain and in tears in his surgery. He then referred me to my first gyno who only had to hear my story once b4 saying I was going into hospital and would be having surgery to locate the issue. Within the month I had, had my op and was informed that I had slight endo. This eased my mind, knowing that it wasnt all in my head but there was actually something wrong with me.
I then got tried on a wide range of pills none having any affect. Within the next 2yrs I had af for 14months straight with very heavy bleeding and extreme pain.
They did another op and discovered my endo needed lasering at the same time theY discovered I also had bad pcos. With my right overy being so enlarged it actally almost raptured my appendix, which I had to havge removed to prevent this.
So by the time of my 21st birthday I was being presented with my choices 1. bounce from medication to medication hoping they would eventually help me or 2. have a complete hysterectomy. I refused straight that the 2nd opinion would not even be considered. I had always been the girl who didnt want kids but as soon as I was told it may never happen all I could think about was how I wanted to be a mummy one day. So I started on trying every pill and hormone treatment out there. Still none helped. But I didnt lose hope that my wonder drug was out there somewhere just waiting to be discovered.
I wouldnt accept that endo and pcos would cause infertility as I had gotten preggo at the age of 17 to a guy who raped me daily at school.I ended up losing that baby but took it just as Gods way of helping me get thru the truama of the abuse.
Then Just over 2yrs ago I met a wonderful guy on the internet and within 23 days of us first chatting on the net we had met face to face and fallen madly in love. We began a long distance relationship, as he lived in the city and I lived in the country. Just a few months into our relationship we knew we where soul mates and decided that even tho we lived 5hrs apart we wanted to start trying for a baby and would at the same time plan for me to move out of home and in with him we tried and tried but nothing except a miscarriage at 6wks. I eventually got an appoint to see a new gyno in the city (wher eI had since moved too) about 12months after starting ttc. I walked in and the first thing he said was 'congrats your preg' I was like 'but I cant be I got my period yday' he did a u/s and looked at me with one of those looks you just know is goona be followed by bad news. All I remember after that is him saying 'Im sorry' me breaking down and crying and wishing my bf was with me (but he was at work) and him handing me a script for clomid 50mg and metformin. That was Nov 08 and I wass 10-11wks preg.
I have since discovered that I dont ovulate without the help of medications.And I have also had a PID which I pray I never get again, it was total hell!
We have found out in the last 2months that my now fiancee also has male factor infertiliy with only 20% sluggish sperm out of 30million and %80 inactive. As well as this in the past month on my 4th cycle of clomid I finally got preg but had a chemical almost 3 days afetr getting my bfp hpt. Which I am still dealing with my grief for.
So atm we are on a ttc break for at least 3months while we both try to sought out our fertility issues and lose weight etc as well as deal with our emotions and grief caused by out loses.
But we dont see this as the end. In some strange way it is just the begining. I truelly need to hold on to the hope that someway somehow we will be blessed with a little angel to care for and love as God would want us too.....
I realy fely I had to share my journey thus far. Im not sure why I felt I had to share, maybe its to help me heal or to accept my situation. Im really not sure. Im just folloing my heart/head and hoping that somehow my story will help someone else, even if its just by knowing that your not alone on this ttc journey...
Sending you all tons on ***baby dust***
My pain would be so bad that I would be in bed with a hot water bottle and unable to move for like 3 wks out of 4. I missed all of my teenage yrs because of this. When all my friends where out at parties I was sick at home.
At times I ended up in hospital the pain was so bad but a very most I would only be told it was pms and to 'get over it'
Then when I was about 17 I decided enough was enough and went to a different gp who actually believed me. Guess it helped I was actually doubled over in pain and in tears in his surgery. He then referred me to my first gyno who only had to hear my story once b4 saying I was going into hospital and would be having surgery to locate the issue. Within the month I had, had my op and was informed that I had slight endo. This eased my mind, knowing that it wasnt all in my head but there was actually something wrong with me.
I then got tried on a wide range of pills none having any affect. Within the next 2yrs I had af for 14months straight with very heavy bleeding and extreme pain.
They did another op and discovered my endo needed lasering at the same time theY discovered I also had bad pcos. With my right overy being so enlarged it actally almost raptured my appendix, which I had to havge removed to prevent this.
So by the time of my 21st birthday I was being presented with my choices 1. bounce from medication to medication hoping they would eventually help me or 2. have a complete hysterectomy. I refused straight that the 2nd opinion would not even be considered. I had always been the girl who didnt want kids but as soon as I was told it may never happen all I could think about was how I wanted to be a mummy one day. So I started on trying every pill and hormone treatment out there. Still none helped. But I didnt lose hope that my wonder drug was out there somewhere just waiting to be discovered.
I wouldnt accept that endo and pcos would cause infertility as I had gotten preggo at the age of 17 to a guy who raped me daily at school.I ended up losing that baby but took it just as Gods way of helping me get thru the truama of the abuse.
Then Just over 2yrs ago I met a wonderful guy on the internet and within 23 days of us first chatting on the net we had met face to face and fallen madly in love. We began a long distance relationship, as he lived in the city and I lived in the country. Just a few months into our relationship we knew we where soul mates and decided that even tho we lived 5hrs apart we wanted to start trying for a baby and would at the same time plan for me to move out of home and in with him we tried and tried but nothing except a miscarriage at 6wks. I eventually got an appoint to see a new gyno in the city (wher eI had since moved too) about 12months after starting ttc. I walked in and the first thing he said was 'congrats your preg' I was like 'but I cant be I got my period yday' he did a u/s and looked at me with one of those looks you just know is goona be followed by bad news. All I remember after that is him saying 'Im sorry' me breaking down and crying and wishing my bf was with me (but he was at work) and him handing me a script for clomid 50mg and metformin. That was Nov 08 and I wass 10-11wks preg.
I have since discovered that I dont ovulate without the help of medications.And I have also had a PID which I pray I never get again, it was total hell!
We have found out in the last 2months that my now fiancee also has male factor infertiliy with only 20% sluggish sperm out of 30million and %80 inactive. As well as this in the past month on my 4th cycle of clomid I finally got preg but had a chemical almost 3 days afetr getting my bfp hpt. Which I am still dealing with my grief for.
So atm we are on a ttc break for at least 3months while we both try to sought out our fertility issues and lose weight etc as well as deal with our emotions and grief caused by out loses.
But we dont see this as the end. In some strange way it is just the begining. I truelly need to hold on to the hope that someway somehow we will be blessed with a little angel to care for and love as God would want us too.....
I realy fely I had to share my journey thus far. Im not sure why I felt I had to share, maybe its to help me heal or to accept my situation. Im really not sure. Im just folloing my heart/head and hoping that somehow my story will help someone else, even if its just by knowing that your not alone on this ttc journey...
Sending you all tons on ***baby dust***
Well shane had all his blood test re-done on monday plus some extra bloods done too jst to check I think everything absolutly possible, including if Iv drove his mad or not lol...Today he is having a pelvic ct to check for a possible blockage among other things and 2moro morning he is doing his 2nd sa. So hoping all this shows something of an improvment evn if its jst one extra sperm that is kicking and ready to go. As long as its an improvment I dont care how big or small it is. I jst want all to be ok with the guy Im totally head over heels in love with :O)
He sees the hormone guy again on wednesday and then the urologist the following wednesday so hopefully they will be able to tell us more.
I am seeing my new gyno in a few wks so hopefully he'll be able to get the ball moving with getting my endo lasered. and I see shanes hormone guy for myself the same wk as the gyno. So far the diet he put me on hasnt really worked with flying colors but I have lost 2kg so that is good, woohoo! The increased dose of metformin is making me totally sick, I went from 1000mg to 1500mg. I cant keep hardly anything down besides for some lite food like crackers and water and some fruit but it is slowly improving so hopefully its jst the process of getting my body into gear with the news dose.
Anyway jst thought Id let you all know where we where up too.
Oh and also I have been encouraged to do a hpt. As I got my first ever +opk with out meds this month. And even tho we are on a serious ttc break my depo injection was from a babd batch and didnt work so we started using condoms but the day b4 the +opk we had a moment of passion and didnt use one. So there is slim, very slim chance could be preg. Im to scared to test as atm I scared of getting preg and losing another angel. I jst need time to heal from my chemical last month plus I really want to get both our fertility issues soughted and our weight down. But trying to get courage up to test and if it is neg then I will start b/c pill for a few months whn af shows. But if positive as much as I hope its not this moonth then I will still truelly be over the moon but so very scared.
He sees the hormone guy again on wednesday and then the urologist the following wednesday so hopefully they will be able to tell us more.
I am seeing my new gyno in a few wks so hopefully he'll be able to get the ball moving with getting my endo lasered. and I see shanes hormone guy for myself the same wk as the gyno. So far the diet he put me on hasnt really worked with flying colors but I have lost 2kg so that is good, woohoo! The increased dose of metformin is making me totally sick, I went from 1000mg to 1500mg. I cant keep hardly anything down besides for some lite food like crackers and water and some fruit but it is slowly improving so hopefully its jst the process of getting my body into gear with the news dose.
Anyway jst thought Id let you all know where we where up too.
Oh and also I have been encouraged to do a hpt. As I got my first ever +opk with out meds this month. And even tho we are on a serious ttc break my depo injection was from a babd batch and didnt work so we started using condoms but the day b4 the +opk we had a moment of passion and didnt use one. So there is slim, very slim chance could be preg. Im to scared to test as atm I scared of getting preg and losing another angel. I jst need time to heal from my chemical last month plus I really want to get both our fertility issues soughted and our weight down. But trying to get courage up to test and if it is neg then I will start b/c pill for a few months whn af shows. But if positive as much as I hope its not this moonth then I will still truelly be over the moon but so very scared.
Heres the latest update...Ok so we saw the hormone guy today and got the majority of shanes results back...
SEMAN ANALYSIS:
*this sampal was 1mL which is still a low volume
*Sperm count is DOWN from 30million to 22million *Normal forms is UP from 17% to 23% (woohoo improvement)
*Active sperm is UP from 0% to drum role please....20% (still low but doc says is a good sign)
*sluggish sperm remains the same at 20%
*Non-motile is DOWN from 80% to now 60%
SPERM ANTIBODIES:
Negative to both IgG & IgA
THYROID:
*TSH Is normal @ 0.88
*Folate red cell is normal @ 1256
*Vitamin B12 is normal @ 622
LH ~ is slightly high @ 10.20, the recommanded range is 2.0-10.0
Prolatin ~ is normal @ 128
FSH ~ is still really high @ 18.2, the recommanded range is 1.5-13.0
His Pelvic CT scan was all normal too
So all in all there are some good improvements. The doctor says the the biopsy from his view will need to be done but he is leaving the final dicission up to the urologist on that. He has also refered him on to a ANDROLOGIST what ever that is (going to research it in a sec). He was really proud also of the weight shane had lost 5kg in total and 7cm of his waist. He doesnt want to see him again for another 6months unless the ANDROLOGIST or urologist asks for him to see him sooner. Shane sees the urologist in a wks time so hopefully the final lot of test results will be back by then. Also on the biopsy the doctor highly believes that we should harvest sperm when it is done to use later for iui or ivf as he is concerned with my pcos also involved we may need to go down that road but cant say for sure until he sees me as his patient in about a months time.
AF is still a no show and I think I o'd about 17dpo now (got a very faint +opk which I did jst to see if I did o without meds, this was the only opk I did as we are on break)I checked with shanes hormone specialist and he said for me to do a HPT first thing in the morning and if no af then to see the doc to get progesterone meds to bbring her on so I can go on the pill for a month or so as we had previously planed for me to do while we are on this break...So now Im nervously awaiting to test in the morning so scared it will be + and I'll have another chemical....
SEMAN ANALYSIS:
*this sampal was 1mL which is still a low volume
*Sperm count is DOWN from 30million to 22million *Normal forms is UP from 17% to 23% (woohoo improvement)
*Active sperm is UP from 0% to drum role please....20% (still low but doc says is a good sign)
*sluggish sperm remains the same at 20%
*Non-motile is DOWN from 80% to now 60%
SPERM ANTIBODIES:
Negative to both IgG & IgA
THYROID:
*TSH Is normal @ 0.88
*Folate red cell is normal @ 1256
*Vitamin B12 is normal @ 622
LH ~ is slightly high @ 10.20, the recommanded range is 2.0-10.0
Prolatin ~ is normal @ 128
FSH ~ is still really high @ 18.2, the recommanded range is 1.5-13.0
His Pelvic CT scan was all normal too
So all in all there are some good improvements. The doctor says the the biopsy from his view will need to be done but he is leaving the final dicission up to the urologist on that. He has also refered him on to a ANDROLOGIST what ever that is (going to research it in a sec). He was really proud also of the weight shane had lost 5kg in total and 7cm of his waist. He doesnt want to see him again for another 6months unless the ANDROLOGIST or urologist asks for him to see him sooner. Shane sees the urologist in a wks time so hopefully the final lot of test results will be back by then. Also on the biopsy the doctor highly believes that we should harvest sperm when it is done to use later for iui or ivf as he is concerned with my pcos also involved we may need to go down that road but cant say for sure until he sees me as his patient in about a months time.
AF is still a no show and I think I o'd about 17dpo now (got a very faint +opk which I did jst to see if I did o without meds, this was the only opk I did as we are on break)I checked with shanes hormone specialist and he said for me to do a HPT first thing in the morning and if no af then to see the doc to get progesterone meds to bbring her on so I can go on the pill for a month or so as we had previously planed for me to do while we are on this break...So now Im nervously awaiting to test in the morning so scared it will be + and I'll have another chemical....
So heres the lastest news on whats going on:
Still have NO af. I demanded my gp do bloods today but turns out he only did progesterone and it came back saying yes I have o'd. I then told the doc I wanted a beta done but he said he wants to give it a few days incase I have only jst o'd. So he said to wait for about a wk, which brings me like only 6days b4 I would see my new gyno so I've jst decided to leave and wait to see the new gyno coz have already been told he does beta on all his new patients at there first appts. So Im jst not gonna stress about it. If I preggo then Im preggo and if Im not then Im not, not like theres alot I can do either way...
We saw the urologist today. Looks like shane is having an op to check for a blockage or something around his prostate, plus they going to put dye thru some tube thing (forget the name of it but it goes from testi to prostate) to make sure theres no blockage/leaks, do biopsy on both right and left testi and possibly harvest sperm (if we can afford for that one to be done)...
The urologist is jst waiting till he sees the andrologist b4 booking him in for the op incase the andrologist wants/knows something that is beta....
Still have NO af. I demanded my gp do bloods today but turns out he only did progesterone and it came back saying yes I have o'd. I then told the doc I wanted a beta done but he said he wants to give it a few days incase I have only jst o'd. So he said to wait for about a wk, which brings me like only 6days b4 I would see my new gyno so I've jst decided to leave and wait to see the new gyno coz have already been told he does beta on all his new patients at there first appts. So Im jst not gonna stress about it. If I preggo then Im preggo and if Im not then Im not, not like theres alot I can do either way...
We saw the urologist today. Looks like shane is having an op to check for a blockage or something around his prostate, plus they going to put dye thru some tube thing (forget the name of it but it goes from testi to prostate) to make sure theres no blockage/leaks, do biopsy on both right and left testi and possibly harvest sperm (if we can afford for that one to be done)...
The urologist is jst waiting till he sees the andrologist b4 booking him in for the op incase the andrologist wants/knows something that is beta....
Well saw my new gyno today. His really nice and friendly and is pretty homest and up front about things which I totally love.
I still have no af which is now thought to be because I have wat they think is a 3cm cyst in my uturus. Im having another u/s first thing in morning and if it is then I will also be having it delt with 2morro too. My progesterone was 134 which is really high and he said this MAY be caused from having taken clomid. But is checking all my hormone levels etc to see if there is any cause shown in them too. He is also said he wants for me to have hsg done after af decides to show. Plus another sa for shane but this time its for a trial wash to see if there would be enough sperm to wrk with if we go down the ivf track which I told him that we would not consider of committ to till at very earlist next yr. He has advised me to stay of b/c so wont be going on that when af comes but we will be still on a break as he did offer to put me on a fertility med but I declined as I really want to stick with our plan of having 3months break and then re-assess if we pick up ttc seriously again or have few more months break. Jst really want to get all this soughted so we can be the best parents possible when we are blessed with our lillte angel no matter how that maybe.....
I still have no af which is now thought to be because I have wat they think is a 3cm cyst in my uturus. Im having another u/s first thing in morning and if it is then I will also be having it delt with 2morro too. My progesterone was 134 which is really high and he said this MAY be caused from having taken clomid. But is checking all my hormone levels etc to see if there is any cause shown in them too. He is also said he wants for me to have hsg done after af decides to show. Plus another sa for shane but this time its for a trial wash to see if there would be enough sperm to wrk with if we go down the ivf track which I told him that we would not consider of committ to till at very earlist next yr. He has advised me to stay of b/c so wont be going on that when af comes but we will be still on a break as he did offer to put me on a fertility med but I declined as I really want to stick with our plan of having 3months break and then re-assess if we pick up ttc seriously again or have few more months break. Jst really want to get all this soughted so we can be the best parents possible when we are blessed with our lillte angel no matter how that maybe.....
He didnt want me on bc pill coz he said what my body really needs atm is to have a total break from all hormone related meds (tho did offer fertility meds if I wanted to keep trying but strongly agreed that being on this break is best) as he thinks that is what has caused this cyst plus the other ones I have had over the yrs while I was on birth control (he said he could see a pattern in my history) Good question about how Im going to regulate my periods. I asked the same thing he said that if we are on a break atm it wont matter all that much not having a period. He said once he gets all my blood results back he will discuss with me how to regulate periods as well as recommanded treatment to get us preg. He reccomands to be on break till october which is fine with us.
Hey Flutter, glad u liked ur new Dr. May be things will move fwd here on..Im sorry I was thinking u were on a bad batch of Depo? When did u take clomid ? Well if u are, then it wouldnt cause a cyst on the uterus. may be the ovaries.
Also flutter, it does matter if u are on a break and with ur PCOS. I have read here that when not TTC, best is to continue on shedding the endometrial lining to avoid other issues like cancer and such. Im sure ur Dr knows what hes doing, but just want to share the information I have read. U shud post a question to Dr Q if u need a professional opinion.
Also flutter, it does matter if u are on a break and with ur PCOS. I have read here that when not TTC, best is to continue on shedding the endometrial lining to avoid other issues like cancer and such. Im sure ur Dr knows what hes doing, but just want to share the information I have read. U shud post a question to Dr Q if u need a professional opinion.
Hi hopen, yeah I did have a bad batch of depo, had that last cycle after the chemical but it didnt wrk what so ever and is no trace of it in my system...I have been on 4 cycles of clomid ranging frm 50mg-150mg my last clomid tablet would of been back at end of may...
Thats what I thought too about the my period. But when I mentioned it he said that he would wrk out wat to do once he has my bloods back which all up will prob take a wk and he said he'd call me and tell me if I should take provera to bring on af if still havent got it by then....
I find out more about the cyst today when I go for u/s All I know really is that it looks like one is in my uterus but he said his u/s wasnt good enough to my an accurate diagnosie thats why going for the u/s today...Befor tho all my cysts have been on overies...
Thats what I thought too about the my period. But when I mentioned it he said that he would wrk out wat to do once he has my bloods back which all up will prob take a wk and he said he'd call me and tell me if I should take provera to bring on af if still havent got it by then....
I find out more about the cyst today when I go for u/s All I know really is that it looks like one is in my uterus but he said his u/s wasnt good enough to my an accurate diagnosie thats why going for the u/s today...Befor tho all my cysts have been on overies...
Aww thanx angel....my bodies not so little lol :OP but dont worry Im resting I have no intentions of doing anything until the doctors give me the all clear. Right now as much as we would love a baby our/my health comes first...Was really lucky as Im ment to start my new job next wk but when I rang and told them what was going on they where really supportive and told me to dont worry about starting till the doctors have cleared me.
It feels so good to finally have the stress of am I preg or not of my shoulders and now can just rest, relax and let my body heal.
It feels so good to finally have the stress of am I preg or not of my shoulders and now can just rest, relax and let my body heal.
So heres the latest:
Had HSG done today and woohoo I finally got some good news. My tubes look really healthy and clear. I had a major pain issue tho but they said that was to be expect espesh with the past surgery etc. The said that my overies ar most defo pcos with greater then 30 follicles in left overy with biggest one measuring 8.5mm and greater then 40 follicles in right with biggest one measuring 9.7mm. My lining is 7mm....
Shanes andrologist appt has been pushed back till early september as it was ment to be this monday coming but we are going back to my home town for my grandfathers funreal.
We also had an appt with one of the ivf clinics today jst for them to talk us thru a trail sperm wash they want to do. And to have a tour of the place. We are also booked to have a tour of another ivf clinic next month. We dont intend on starting ivf till at least 2010 but are jst checking out the clinics in our area so we can slowly decided which one we will go with....
Had HSG done today and woohoo I finally got some good news. My tubes look really healthy and clear. I had a major pain issue tho but they said that was to be expect espesh with the past surgery etc. The said that my overies ar most defo pcos with greater then 30 follicles in left overy with biggest one measuring 8.5mm and greater then 40 follicles in right with biggest one measuring 9.7mm. My lining is 7mm....
Shanes andrologist appt has been pushed back till early september as it was ment to be this monday coming but we are going back to my home town for my grandfathers funreal.
We also had an appt with one of the ivf clinics today jst for them to talk us thru a trail sperm wash they want to do. And to have a tour of the place. We are also booked to have a tour of another ivf clinic next month. We dont intend on starting ivf till at least 2010 but are jst checking out the clinics in our area so we can slowly decided which one we will go with....
So we have finally had our first reall dealings with the ivf climic. Shane had to do a trial sperm wash yday. We opted to do the sample at home using "a male factor pack" (spermicide free condom supplied by clinic). We managed to get the sample to the clinic within 30mins of actualy geting sample. But then the stupid women there had us wait in the waiting room for 45mins and didnt take the sample of us. So when the sample finally got handed over in had been 1hr 15mins and we where informed that sample may have been conteminated grrrr They looked at us as if we where to blame but we had it there in time and I kept on there case about taking it but they didnt arrrgghh...then to top it of when we went to pay they informed us the cost had increased by $170!!!!! and if the the samole cant be used then we have to pay to do another test all over again...Im so not happy with the clinic we are seriously considering changing clinics when we finally go thru ivf if we have tooo
July 03, 2008
The hormone guy finally managed to convince my fiancee he needs to go on my health kick with me and try get his weight down as well so we are now officually on the 'weight lose train' together. Hahaha I already feel like a mum coz I keep catching fiancee having extra bread etc ao I end up telling him I sit him in the corner if he keeps being naughty lol :O)
Some totally awesome news is that the other I did a opk just to see if Id be ovulating by myself while Im not on clomid and OMG it came up positive! We decided against taking the oppertunity to bd as atm I jst really need time to heal from last months chemical. So we are on a 3month break or possibly even longer it all depends on how things progress with our health issues. But in the mean time we are totally enjoying being with one another with out the stress of wondering if we will fall preg or not. Taking this break truely was one of the hardest things we had to decide but it ultimatly is the best decission we could make. We are giving up on our dream of a baby we are just helping make our dream come true :O)