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Recurrent_MC_chick(is preg w/1surviving twin!!)
middle o' nowhere
Member for 6 months
Trying to stay strong TTC after recurrent M/C!!
September 27, 2008
So here I am 4 miscarriages later & 3 of them being in a row. This last m/c was so shocking to me! I had a good fetal heart beat that I heard & saw @ 7 & 8 weeks...(here's my u/s w/the baby I lost recently:
Thank you James...I'm just so sad latly..did u hear my song I added to my profile? If not it's by Avril Lavigne & it's called: Slipped Away. The lyrics go like this: Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
Na na la la la na na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The say you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...
Nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah
I miss you
Yeah I hope that was really a bfp, but I don't think it was. I'm waiting for af still. How are you doing?
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
Na na la la la na na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The say you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...
Nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah
I miss you
Yeah I hope that was really a bfp, but I don't think it was. I'm waiting for af still. How are you doing?
I'm doing alright, a little depressed...but nothing compared to what you are going through. I just found out that 3 of my friends are pregnant and one is waiting to find out. I just don't understand why the ones who want to have babies are unable, and the ones who are careless have so many children. ='(
Anyway, I'm going to try to keep my head up, you do the same!
Anyway, I'm going to try to keep my head up, you do the same!
Awwwww I feel so sad for you, I can feel your pain and the song you posted is very fitting. I watched your scan too and its hard to believe after you see that your baby heart was beating and it wriggled around. i wish I had the words to comfort you. But you know I am sure your dream to have another baby will come true. You are clearly a lovely mommy and I have personal experience of how much this all hurts. (((((hugs))))) and prayer and baby dust to you.
I dont know what to say, only what a courageous woman u and, and no hint of bitterness either. i dont want to sound patronising but ur an inspiration.
Im sitting here feeling sorry for myself because im going through a chemical my first ever bfp has now turned into a bfn, but if u can get through all this then i can get through what im feeling now.
Thanks for sharing ur story and god willing ur will get that bfp and keep that bfp!
Good luck and ****BABYDUST***
Im sitting here feeling sorry for myself because im going through a chemical my first ever bfp has now turned into a bfn, but if u can get through all this then i can get through what im feeling now.
Thanks for sharing ur story and god willing ur will get that bfp and keep that bfp!
Good luck and ****BABYDUST***
Hi there, good to chat last night.
I thought I would give you an up-date. I went for my scan this morning first thing - so far so good - strong heart beat but still looks like a blob, told me to come back in another 3 weeks, which at this point feels like a life time away. She didnt or rather wouldnt tell me what its heart best per minute was. She said to me that at this stage they only bother about establishing a strong heart beat. They only worry if it looks slow......I thought that was a bit odd but any how thats what she said.
But I did talk to her aout my own m/c that I had before and like you had seen the arms and legs, strong heart beat, rolling around etc. She said to me that it is very uncommon to loose a baby once all that has been seen. She said that its most common to loose a baby early doors so before 8 weeks really. That also includes losses that have been missed - so for exacmple going for a 12 week scan butthe baby died a few weeks before - so whilst its like losing at 12 weekss, its not really, your body just hadnt picked up and started to m/c yet.
I asked her what my risk of m/c was now we had seen the heart beat and she said it was still 1 in 4. From memory thats what they are saying your risk is too even with the inversion issue.
So if you think about this way, even though you have had several m/c, you have the same chnace as me of having another.
So next time may just work out fine.
I think that like me - you have just been incredibly unlucky and I want to give you some positive vibes for your next prego.
Life is never simple thats for sure. You are a very brave lady and I am sure you feel like your bravery is running out!
But I am sure you will hate me saying this, but any how, age is very much on your side and I am sure that the next time round you will get that longed for baby - so chin up.
(((hugs)) ****baby dust****
I thought I would give you an up-date. I went for my scan this morning first thing - so far so good - strong heart beat but still looks like a blob, told me to come back in another 3 weeks, which at this point feels like a life time away. She didnt or rather wouldnt tell me what its heart best per minute was. She said to me that at this stage they only bother about establishing a strong heart beat. They only worry if it looks slow......I thought that was a bit odd but any how thats what she said.
But I did talk to her aout my own m/c that I had before and like you had seen the arms and legs, strong heart beat, rolling around etc. She said to me that it is very uncommon to loose a baby once all that has been seen. She said that its most common to loose a baby early doors so before 8 weeks really. That also includes losses that have been missed - so for exacmple going for a 12 week scan butthe baby died a few weeks before - so whilst its like losing at 12 weekss, its not really, your body just hadnt picked up and started to m/c yet.
I asked her what my risk of m/c was now we had seen the heart beat and she said it was still 1 in 4. From memory thats what they are saying your risk is too even with the inversion issue.
So if you think about this way, even though you have had several m/c, you have the same chnace as me of having another.
So next time may just work out fine.
I think that like me - you have just been incredibly unlucky and I want to give you some positive vibes for your next prego.
Life is never simple thats for sure. You are a very brave lady and I am sure you feel like your bravery is running out!
But I am sure you will hate me saying this, but any how, age is very much on your side and I am sure that the next time round you will get that longed for baby - so chin up.
(((hugs)) ****baby dust****
Actually remember I have a 75% chance having an unhealthy baby w/probs or m/c it before I see a heartbeat & it's a 75% of not m/c after hb detected & 25% of m/c. My baby was 8weeks 3 days when I had the u/s that I have a vid of on here...so that makes me wonder about what you said she said about before 8weeks...I was 11 weeks 5 days when I was told the baby only measured around 8weeks & that there was no heartbeat. Also I was told that when I saw the heartbeat too that I had only a %25 chance m/c after that, but the specialist I had saw to have CVS who told me the baby died via u/s no heartbeat told me my chances are probably higher than 25%(the 25% was approximate from my RE since this is rare & lil is known about it) of m/c after hb is detected. I actually finally decided to go see a gentics counselor instead of my RE to get more answers gentics wise,so I made an appt for 10/8 @ 10am. Thank you so much for ur input on m/c stats after hb,that helps me put it into prospective more. It's ok you said the age on my side thing...I do kinda...eventhough I have so many probs...that's why I'm trying so hard now...cuz when I get older it will just get harder. I appreciate you caring it's nice to have someone like you to talk to! Hope 2 ttyl!
Also I forgot to mention I've been told in the past by my OB that the body starts to absorb the baby over time & it can shrink so even if the baby measured around 8weeks on u/s...could have been 9 weeks...died & shrunk to around 8 weeks by the time discovered. Also I was told that really your not out of the woods for m/c until 13 weeks because all the organs have fully formed by then & they can't do an autopsy till then either...only chrosome testing.
Hi - back again - I think that you are 100% right to go and get advice from a specialist that seems to be very sensible. It may help you either accept the risks but continue trying. I knida wonder if IVF may be a route? But I have no idea if they can test for your rare inversion at very early embryo stage. Plus it costs a fortune so may be out of the question any how.
Your pain is almost touchable, I know how hard it is for you.
Yes you are right about the baby getting smaller when its passed away as does the sack. I can remember that when that happened to me the sac had collapsed in on itself. The baby also kinda lies so doesnt move if you get me, again can measure smaller. When I had my m/c they asked me if I wanted to see it, I said no, but it had me wondering afterwards, in as much as it must have looked quite human like for them to say - do you want to look. They did a test on that one and it was normal. They 'think' that I had a m/c due to infection with high temp, rare apperently but none the less. To my mind I dont dwell on it too much, its what happened. After i lost my 1st baby late on in prego it about broke me. I was lost and very miserbale for long.......time.
So I made the 'consious' decision to say well thats that. I will take nothing for granted till later on. That said I find it ery hard once you have seen a scan with a little baby there, that looks like a baby. Still I try to distance myself as best I can. I am doing it with this one too. As 'mean' as it sounds I think okay if this is gonna be a m/c please do it now to stop any more time passing by 'thinking i will have a baby...'
Every one goes through this their own way and please dont think I am dishing out advice. i am not. I'm just trying to share how I cope with it all.
I know its sooo painful and you end up feeling like its never going to happen.
In the past every where I went people where heavily pregnant or expecting their 3rd baby, or had a pram and it added to the endless - when is it going to be my turn cycle.
I have often thought that it would be much easire if you just knew - okay I am going to have to go through X m/c but I will deffo hae a baby by X date. Sadly life aint that easy.
Hopefully you will get some support via this next appointment - mke sure you take a note pad as its all over whlming ad you will forget half of it afterwards.
I have a good feeling for you though and am sure you will indeed have that longed for little bundle.
Your pain is almost touchable, I know how hard it is for you.
Yes you are right about the baby getting smaller when its passed away as does the sack. I can remember that when that happened to me the sac had collapsed in on itself. The baby also kinda lies so doesnt move if you get me, again can measure smaller. When I had my m/c they asked me if I wanted to see it, I said no, but it had me wondering afterwards, in as much as it must have looked quite human like for them to say - do you want to look. They did a test on that one and it was normal. They 'think' that I had a m/c due to infection with high temp, rare apperently but none the less. To my mind I dont dwell on it too much, its what happened. After i lost my 1st baby late on in prego it about broke me. I was lost and very miserbale for long.......time.
So I made the 'consious' decision to say well thats that. I will take nothing for granted till later on. That said I find it ery hard once you have seen a scan with a little baby there, that looks like a baby. Still I try to distance myself as best I can. I am doing it with this one too. As 'mean' as it sounds I think okay if this is gonna be a m/c please do it now to stop any more time passing by 'thinking i will have a baby...'
Every one goes through this their own way and please dont think I am dishing out advice. i am not. I'm just trying to share how I cope with it all.
I know its sooo painful and you end up feeling like its never going to happen.
In the past every where I went people where heavily pregnant or expecting their 3rd baby, or had a pram and it added to the endless - when is it going to be my turn cycle.
I have often thought that it would be much easire if you just knew - okay I am going to have to go through X m/c but I will deffo hae a baby by X date. Sadly life aint that easy.
Hopefully you will get some support via this next appointment - mke sure you take a note pad as its all over whlming ad you will forget half of it afterwards.
I have a good feeling for you though and am sure you will indeed have that longed for little bundle.
PS Yes agree with u about the autopsy/chromsome thing - my son had the autopsy (i still have a copy of that) and the m/c the chromosome testing. Neither gave me a baby but did help me understand a bit. Although some-one once likened succesful pregnancy to popcorn. She said - okay well you put the bag into the microwave and 95% will pop - but that still leaves the few that dont - why - no one knows.....they just dont. I can imagine its worse in your scenario that they couldnt do chromosome test and you need to know. Any how I am chatting too much here. Chin up and I am here for you. xxxx
UPDATE... Well everyone I pretty sure I'm having a chemcial m/c right now...because on cd18 I got what looked to be a bfp on my opk
,then I tested w/hpt I got bfp
...then all bfn,I've experienced some mild preg symptoms too...sore bbs, tired, hungry. This would make m/c # 5 unfortunatly. Well I really hope af comes soon, so I can start TTC again...maybe...idk if I can keep trying ttc...w/this luck :( .
,then I tested w/hpt I got bfp
...then all bfn,I've experienced some mild preg symptoms too...sore bbs, tired, hungry. This would make m/c # 5 unfortunatly. Well I really hope af comes soon, so I can start TTC again...maybe...idk if I can keep trying ttc...w/this luck :( .
Yes my 3rd m/c I had some testing done, I know what a lot of my probs are. My other journeys explain my probs. I just wish this wouldn't happen to me so much. I know why the chemical is happening it was too soon after my last m/c...I didn't even think I could O this soon after m/c...but fertility tends to be higher after m/c..since progestrone is up. As hard as this is...@ least I didn't get as far along as I was last time :( ...
Yes, I'd wait for 1 normal period @least...if not more. This 1 I wasn't even really trying, just decided to check if I was Oing..& when I saw I was I tried to abstaine...but I guess we caught the egg before my test came up bfp...since u know sperm can live for a few days. I tested to see if I was pg..& had a bfp...then bfn. I think the egg/embyro didn't implant right, which is not suprising after all that's happened. I'm just waitting for af now...I know I'll get it just not sure when. If I don't get af soon I'm going to the dr...ins or not to see what's going on. Anyway I hope eventualy to be able to carry full term a baby for dh. How long after you lost your twins did you ttc? After m/c it usualy takes me like 3-4months to get pregnant...so like I said I really didn't think I'd actual ovulate this early. I hope you don't think I'm careless...I feel like an idot letting myself get preg so quick w/the probs I have even though it was an accident. If I didn't have so many probs I probably wouldn't me having a chemical, because some women can get pregnant right away & not miscarry. :-(
I'm sorry hun. You have taken all things life has thrown at you and made good of it. I am so happy to have meet you. You are positive and strong and one of the greatest TTC'er and staying strong women I have ever met. You should be so proud of who you are. I have any incompetent cervix and high blood pressure and I feel like it's the end of the world for me. Here you are with a list of things and you feel like it's just a minor set back. WOW> WHere did you get ur stregnth? Is any of it for sale? O am so hopeful for you. I think I watch you and Chrissy most of all on this site. I am sure that you will carry to full term against all odds. You rock Recurrent. Please stay strong becasue it helps women like me feel like there is hope.
Baby Dust and Sticky Glue.
Sorry for being so sentimental. I had a bad day and you just wont give up.
Baby Dust and Sticky Glue.
Sorry for being so sentimental. I had a bad day and you just wont give up.
>
September 27, 2008